What have you been doing?
Someone asked.
I thought about it,
and I thought hard.
Before I was wandering around.
Lost like the week before,
the month before,
the year before.
I was stuck on something that wasnt there
and yet i hung on, like it was all that was worth anything.
then i changed.
each day was 1 i looked forward to.
each day was filled with the challenge of being someone that was worth sth to someone.
until that day where i felt it no more
sunk like the densest of rocks
i tried swimming up
but all that transpired just dragged me deeper.
deflated lungs heaved
and soon, my air was gone.
floating off to the very scum that sank my ship
into the embrace, leaving me to hit rock bottom.
it constantly reappeared like bubbles,
only to burst when i came close.
my air was no longer mine.
would it ever be mine again?
air whispered in my ear the fright that i had brought upon.
shudder was all i could
for i lived and breathed her, and grew addicted
i gave and i gasped, i had nothing left
and air left me
left me to wallow in the depths of the void that fills
with a rustle of the leaves i knew what air was
but in the depths of the sea,
could i still hear any rustle?
any howl?
any whistle?

what have i been doing?
climbing up the highest of steps,
to throw myself into the deepest of depths.